Bulletshell Entertainment presents

                                      an animefan279 production
                                (or as it would be if this were a movie)

                                       Universal Studios presents

                              a [insert company of choice here] production


                                  Jack Black     Samuel L. Jackson

                                            Black Knight

                             
Owen Wilson   Kyle Gass   Mel Brooks    Bill Cosby   Robin Williams  Jim Carrey  "Weird Al" Yankovic   Gene Wilder   Carlos Mencia   and introducing Jacob Leyva  and XXElkastoneXX
Opening Narrations by Andy Griffith



Chapter 1 The Beginning of The Legend of Jack Black



This is the Legend of Jack Black. He's a boy who lives in the country Hymitergenarsymcrimspirmagia in the province the Land of Comedy. He is the son of the blacksmith Jared Black who is currently working on swords. "One day dad I'll save the country fronm evil," Jack said*. "Well you can dream son," Jared said*. "I mean it dad just you wait and see," Jack replied*. Now that the prestory is over we can get down to the real story of how Jack Black became a legend**.

It was a regular and Jack Black was in his handcrafted knight armor practicing swordplay his father's workshop when the town crier made an announcement. "Here ye here ye! The great King Roland Ganthuar is land for a stupid- I mean brave soul who go on a perilous quest with most likely no chance of return!" he announced. He came in and said "So Jack, playing knight again?" "Oh hahahah, why would anyone want go on a quest with no chance of return?" Jack sarcastically asked. "Oh did I forget to mention the good parts? Sorry about that. We town criers are quite retarded," the town crier said. "Yeah, you might wanna run the good parts by people," Jack said. "Righty-o." The town crier went out and announced "And also, whoever so goes on the quest shall recieve fame, fortune, well maybe not fortune but they shall also recieve the princess's hand in carriage. I mean marriage!" After hearing this Jack immediately put his sword in the sheath on his back and rushed to the king's castle.

When he got to the castle there was a big line but he just cut to the front. When he pushed the guy who was previously in the front out the way the guy fell onto the guy behind and a domino effect happened. They turned their attention to it but it happened sorta fast so they quickly turned their attention back to each other. "Wow, long line. But I can't blame them. I mean after all, who wouldn't want to marry your daughter?" Jack said. "Actually that was the line that came when they heard about the 'quest with no chanve of return' part." Five knights then came to the front of the castle and King Roland's advisor said "Position's taken. Go home and just masterbate or whatever you losers with no princess to rescue do."

"Now then, what do I have to?" Jack asked. "Simple, you have to travel to the northern most part of the country and defeat the evil Ganotlok," King Roland answered. "Aah, old big nose," Jack said. "Yes, the seal that was placed on him has been broken." "Jeez, seals. I don't get it, why place the seal on him if it's just gonna break anyway?" Jack interrupted." Who knows? He waits for the opportune moment to conquer the world. Although, if you ask me the opportune moment has already happened. Anyways, along the way you must retrieve the Sword of Everlasting Peace That Will Bring Peace, Tranqulity, Love-" "I get it. Get the sword with the really long name." Jack said. "Yes, it lies in the Land of... Annoying Fans in the Temple of Forever worship," King Roland said. "Of course, the sword always has to be in a shithole or somewhere that'll help the place become a shithole," Jack said.

"I'm afraid so. So do you accept the quest?" King Roland asked. "Well here's thing, I would but I can't work for you since I'm not a knight-" "Okay then. Lefty, give me a sword." King Roland ordered. His left-hand man gave him a sword using for knighting knights. "My name is Lewis!" Lefty grumbled. "I know, I just like to call you Lefty since you're literally my left-hand man. Now then." Jack kneeled to the king. "Arise Sir Jack Black. You're a knight now." King Roland said. Jack rose up and said "Awesome, and it didn't hurt." "Yes well I've had a lot of preactice. Ain't that right my armless batallion?" King Roland answered. Twenty men without arms and weapons in place of them salute and said "Yes your kingly-ship!" "I won't let you down King," Jack said. "Oh I don't think it matters. I mean so many men want to go on the quest just for the sake of going on a quest with no chance of return," King Roland replied. "Yeah, well you just tell those men and the others that came for the part about your daughter they can just stick it up their ass. I'll be the one to complete this quest, just you see," Jack said. He went off to his friend's. "May the lord smile on you," King Roland spoke to Jack and waved goodbye to him.

Jack came into his friend's house and said "Hey Kyle pack your bags and get on your horse cause we're going on an adventure!" Jack cheered. "You serious? Well just give me a mimute and wait by the driveway," Kyle told him. He did so and a little later Kyle came out on his horse and carriage. "Let's ride," he said. Him snd Jack set out for the gate. When they got there a white blonde guy was around looking for something when he saw those two and came up to them. "Hey you guys are going on an adventure aren'tcha?" he asked. "Yeah, why?" Jack asked. "Well I want in. I'm Owen Wilson. I'm an archer and trust me you'll need an archer," Owen said. Some sort of goldin creature was in view. Owen took out his bow and shot it between the eyes. Jack and Kyle turned their attention to it "See that? I just got that Mokoblin right between the eyes," Owen said. "So big deal. Any fool can kill a Mokoblin," Kyle said. "Yeah but-" Owen shot upward and some kind of roc-dragon-bird-thing fell down. "You'll need me to shoot those swoopers. And besides, I've been searching for a decent adventure. Come on don't turn me down from this," he said. "Ah, why not? The more the merrier," Jack said. "Sweet! Awesome! You guys are the best," Owen told them. They then did a completely improvised handshake. "Whoa, what was that?" Kyle said. "It's our handshake. All the greatest groups in the world have a handshake and we have ours. And who knows, we may get others," Jack told Owen and Kyle. "Alright then let's go already, but you two lead because I have no idea where we're going," Owen said. And so the three set off and Owen said "You know, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship." "No, not a friendship, a fellowship. A fellowship of... something I can think of later maybe," Jack responded.